My week so far...

Last Thursday as my MIL turned up to babysit Lucas, I took the opportunity to stress that she is welcome in our place anytime, and that I don't mind her turning up just for a chat or a cup of coffee without an invitation or even calling up first. I told her she can come anytime and not just for babysitting.
She was a bit non commital with the conversation, perhaps she was in shock...? But I was delighted when she turned up Sunday evening! She'd just been to Roger's house to check on him as he was not well, and decided to visit. When the intercom rang and Fred answered, he turned to me and said "Its my mom!" He was shocked :)
I was so happy to see her, and so was Lucas. She stayed for dinner - we had magret de canard, salad and potatoes and she left after Lucas went to bed!

My new friend Laurence (which is a woman's name in France) whom I met at Atelier Gepetto invited me out to the theatre this Thursday night. The local colleges have gotten together to stage "Sherlock Holmes" in ENGLISH! We arranged for our other half to babysit and together with Julie, the 3 of us will have a nice night out at the theatre.

Today, my French teacher took my class to the Petits As  to watch under 14 tennis players from all around the world play in a junior tennis tournament, held annually in Tarbes. Previously, world class players like Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Marat Safin, Amelie Mauresmo and Anna Kournikova played in Petits As. There were a lot of young kids in the expo, and there were plenty of activities besides tennis to occupy them. There was a rock climbing wall, and a mechanical bull. There was a mini tennis court where anyone could try out and get free coaching. Of course, stalls were set up for tennis equipment, food stalls in case anyone got hungry, coffee kiosks, tennis schools and activities such as a big opening party tonight and another dance party in the discotheque in town. There were lots of people from the press at the center court where we watched a match between a German and a French.

At class today the infuriating classmate of mine (whom everyone has been avoiding since class started after the Christmas holidays) once again annoyed me with her lies. First she tells us that she has never worked a single day in her entire life. Then a couple of weeks ago she announced to the class that she was a coiffeuse (hairdresser) before. Today, because we were learning about prefession, she told us that she was a boss in an office and had staff working for her. Even my French teacher got confused and started asking her what exactly did she do, which she couldn't answer.
Her only friend in class also stopped talking to her since a couple of weeks ago.
I am waiting for my DILF exams in Feb to end so she can move on to another school. Mean of me, I know but right now, even hearing her voice gets on my nerves. I have stopped talking to her completely after she asked the Portugese girl  who has a weight problem if she has ever heard of "weight watchers" and suggested she sign up.

Anyway, Lucas was having a low grade fever for the past couple of days, probably due to his teething. He hasn't been eating much, prefering to drink his milk and refuses to brush his teeth, so I suspect his gums ache. Today when I dropped him off at creche, he didn't cry for the first time. I asked the caregivers to occupy him with arts and craft and brought along his unfinished "project" from home. Instead they let him do some hand painting today which he thoroughly enjoyed and his 3 hours at creche passed happily.
Lucas has also improved leaps and bounds since we became more strict with him - all he needed was to know his boundaries. Now when he is being naughty, we tell him to go to his room, and he does it by himself. He goes into his room and sits in his naughty chair until we get him. If we take too long (no more than 5 mins) he calls out to us to get him. But when he knows he's being punished he sits on the chair and doesn't move til we tell him its OK.
By showing Lucas his boundaries it has also made things a lot less stressful and easier for me. I can now cook dinner without having him underfoot. I just ask him to play in his room and he does that willingly. When I tell him that he will not be watching Barney on TV, he doesn't protest so much. Instead he goes into his room and switches on Barney on the CD player. Some days he knows that when he is finished with dinner and we are still eating, he goes to his room to play by himself. Previously he would pull at us and ask one of us to stop eating and play with him, starting his tantrums if we said "no".

The children of Haiti

I'm sure all of you have been following the news on the Haiti Earthquake. Last Thursday, Envoye Special did a live documentary on Haiti. Even though I didn't understand it all it was heartbreaking to watch, especially when there was a short documentary on the orphans in Haiti.
There are a lot of couples here in France waiting for their babies who are in Haiti, as the adoption process here is very thorough and takes years. A couple who just visited their 3.5 year old boy in Haiti received news that their little boy died in the earthquake. A few other couples in the documentary were more lucky as their kids were all accounted for and were OK. In fact, after the documentary was aired, the French Government accelerated the adoption process and last night's news showed the babies arriving for their new life in France.
But there are still thousands of orphans in Haiti waiting to be adopted. Thousands of babies who are in need of better living conditions, food and water, a family to love them. And here, there are ready couples who want to adopt but are deterred by the adoption process which is not only long but expensive.

These Haitian children are tough little cookies, some of the survivors were found only after 3 to 5 days without food and water, and as they were pulled from the rubble, they were smiling. A 16 month old girl was rescued after 3 days. She walked to the rescuer, following the light. When I see all these children on TV, I kept telling Fred that we should try to adopt one of them, but Fred says it could be years before we will get our baby.
We would like to find out more about the adoption process in France - if any of you out there have an inkling, please share with us.
In the meantime, please pray for Haiti, especially the innocent children and please give generously.

Lucas' new playgroup

Yesterday I took Lucas to a playgroup organised by the CAF, and is free for anyone who makes an appointment. The playgroup is for kids ranging from age 0 to 6 years and activities are planned in advance in a 4 monthly calendar and divided by age.
I have always wanted to go since Lucas and I got here but was fearful as my French is not fluent yet, so the principal from Lucas' creche offered to go with me - I thought that was very nice of her and yesterday I also managed to speak to her about Lucas' behavior in creche.
L'Atelier Gepetto is the name of the playgroup, run by 3 young women. Yesterday's group was for toddlers ranging from 2 to 3 years. I was introduced to Sophie who is in charge and she explained the playgroup routine to me. She told me that as it is Lucas' first time he may not join in the activity (yesterday was arts & craft, using glue and grains - rice, beans, pasta to "paint" a snail) and I was not to fret or worry about it. Sophie and Emmanuelle (Lucas' principal) took turns assuring me that it is normal that Lucas is wondering around, playing with toys and the slide instead of taking part in the activity. Sophie also told me that all the other kids have been attending the playgroup for a long time and are used to sitting down for the arts & craft sessions. But there were some kids who got bored and joined Lucas at the slide.
At the end of the session the 3 women scattered cushions on the floor and asked the kids to sit down while they took out hand puppets and sang to the kids. At first Lucas was not interested but he soon became curious enough to venture to the front and stood there watching. He also proferred his cheek for a kiss from Sophie :)
After the kiss Lucas went to the nearest cushion and sat down - YAY!!!!!!
When the puppet show ended Lucas was enthusiastically clapping, and when he saw Sophie keeping the puppets he started crying because he didn't want it to end!
Emmanuelle was so happy and excited to see Lucas participating she kept asking me if I saw Lucas sitting on the cushion. Her involvement with Lucas shows how much she really cares and I am having 2nd thoughts now about taking Lucas out of her creche.
At Gepetto, I met Laurence, a french mom to Matheo who is 2 months younger than Lucas. Laurence came to say "hello" and told me she speaks English :) I was so happy to have met her. She has also just moved to Tarbes from Paris in July. We exchanged numbers and met up yesterday afternoon at the playground. Laurence also brought another friend, Julie who is french and speaks english, though both of them said that I should practice my french on them :)

On another note, yesterday when I put Lucas in his bed for his afternoon nap, he was crying really loudly, so I went in to check on him and found that he managed to climb up to the rails and was dangling halfway out of the bed! He did it today as well and that is worrying as the rails are really high. Perhaps it is time we get rid of the rails and see if he will stay in bed without the rails.
Fred and his mom have both managed to give Lucas his time-out in his room - if Lucas throws his food or starts a tantrum, Fred brings him into the room and leaves him there til he calms down. I was surprised that Lucas doesn't come out of the room until Fred goes and get him, and yesterday, Lucas even called out to Fred to ask if he could come out.
I tried it on Lucas today but it didn't work with me...

Also, yesterday Fred managed to make Lucas sit on the potty for a full 5 minutes, reading a book. We have been trying to get Lucas ready for potty training and he's been going without the diaper a few hours a day. We have told him that if he needs to "pee" or "kaka" he has to tell us. He does tell us allright but only after he's done the deed! This morning he did the deed in his PJs but unlike the last time he didn't walk around the apartment, leaving a trail of shit....  He stood there waiting for me to clean him up.
My baby is growing up so fast!

Last night's battle at dinner...

Last night we strapped Lucas into his highchair for dinner as he didn't want to have dinner and kept running into the Salon, asking for Barney. Fred told Lucas that he will get Barney after he eats, and Lucas indicated he wanted the highchair. What we didn't realize after strapping him was he wanted to eat in the highchair while watching Barney! Fred stood his ground and told Lucas he will only get Barney AFTER he eats. Lucas relented for the first 3 mouthfuls and then refused anything else. He indicated it was Barney first then he will eat. And so the battle began...
Fred sat in front of Lucas and told him to have 1 last mouthful, then he can get down from the highchair and watch Barney. Lucas wanted Barney first before he would budge. It took Fred 2 hours last night before Lucas (stubborn as an ox...) relented. There were a lot of tears and screaming and food throwing but in the end, Lucas finally took that last mouthful and more.

A copyright of God - article from Turkey on the "Allah" controversy in Malaysia

Since I have been away from Malaysia, I depend on my friends back there to feed me with news that interest me; like the "Allah" issue, which is worrying though a lot of my friends assure me that its not as bad as reported and Malaysia is still safe.
A friend emailed me an article from a newpaper in Turkey which I would like to share with my readers:

From Turkey ’s Daily News:

The trouble with Islamo-tribalism
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Mustafa AKYOL

Nasty things are happening in Malaysia . Nine Christian churches have been vandalized or burnt just over the last weekend. Thank God, nobody has been hurt, yet, but the terror unleashed is terrifying enough for the Christian minority of this overwhelmingly Muslim nation.
Also thank God that the attacks were the work of a fanatic minority among Malaysian Muslims, or Malays. Many others, including government spokesmen, denounced the barbarism. Some volunteers from Muslim nongovernmental organizations have even begun patrolling churches to protect them from possible future attacks. This is, of course, commendable.


Yet still, I think that Malays should deal not just with the radical symptoms of the problem. They should also deal with the problem itself.

A copyright of God?
The problem itself is a “copyright issue,” as Marina Mahathir, a Malay commentator, rightly put it. Christians in the country have been using the word “Allah” to refer to God in their services and publications, whereas the Malays believe that they have a monopoly on it. Hence the Muslim-dominated government recently put a ban on non-Muslims using the term. Yet last month the High Court overturned the ban. And hell broke lose.


As a Turkish Muslim, I strongly disagree with my Malaysian coreligionists who disagree with the Christians. The word “Allah” simply means “The God” in Arabic, and Arab Christians have been using it for centuries without any trouble. In Turkey , too, Bibles published by Turkish Christians used to have the term “Allah” until the recent “modernization” in their discourse. The change is their choice, and none of our business.
Most Muslims, in other words, don’t have a problem with hearing the word “Allah” from non-Muslim theists. And this is how it should be, because the Koran repeatedly says that Muslims worship the same God with Jews and Christians. "We believe in the revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you,” a verse orders Muslims to tell these fellow monotheists. “Our God and your God is one."


Whence, then, comes the Malay possessiveness of Allah?
The Malaysian government argues that making Allah synonymous with God may “confuse Muslims and ultimately mislead them into converting to Christianity.” Wow, what a great sign of self-confidence. Why don’t they rather think, one wonders, that the same thing might ultimately “mislead” Christians into converting to Islam.
Besides the obvious immaturity, what is really disturbing to me here is how Allah, the “Lord of mankind” according to the Koran, is reduced to something like a tribal deity.


This was all too obvious in the slogan of the protesters at the mosques of Kuala Lumpur : "Allah,” they said, “is only for us."
But who do you think you are, one should ask. Who gives you the authority to claim that the name of God of all men is your private property?


The answer, as you can guess, lies not in theology but politics. As a piece published in these pages yesterday (Gwynne Dyer, "In the Name of Allah") explained well, the Muslim Malays, despite making up 60 percent of Malaysia , “feel perpetually insecure.” They worry that if their numbers in population decrease so will their dominant role in the country.
Hence comes Malaysia ’s tyrannical bans on apostasy from Islam, limitations on mixed marriages, and the current obsession with the Christians’ language. The main intention behind these is the preservation of the dominance, and the “purity,” of a certain political community – say, a big tribe. (The medieval Islamic ban an apostasy, which has no basis in the Koran, was similarly a product of political motives.)
But pursuing the perceived interests of a political community that happens to be Muslim, is not the same thing with upholding the religious values that God has bestowed on Muslims.
The difference between the two is subtle but crucial. It is the difference between serving God, and making God serve us.


Jihad, victory and empire
The latter motivation, I suspect, is imperative in the makeup of the self-righteous, authoritarian and violent movements in the contemporary Muslim world. These movements always strive for some victory, some political dominance, which will elevate their very selves above all other men.


The words of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the 23-year-old Nigerian who tried to blow up a passenger airliner near Detroit two weeks ago, are quite telling. “I imagine how the great jihad will take place,” he reportedly said, “how the Muslims will win ... and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!”
The yearning for glory here is not too different from what a revolutionary communist expects from the dictatorship of the proletariat, or what a chauvinist expects from an imperialist agenda that will make his nation the master of the world.


The Muslim thing to do, however, is to be more humble, modest and openhearted. The Koran tells Muslims that they are supposed to be “the best community that has been raised up for mankind.” Yet they really can’t serve that purpose if they begin by despising the rest of mankind, and claiming an ownership of God.
And Malaysia can’t really uphold the values of Islam through Islamo-tribalism.

Making the right childcare choice for Lucas

Fred and I have decided to take Lucas out of the creche that he is attending now. I have 2 weeks to my DILF examinations which is crucial for my visa renewal in France so we are going to see if we can get MIL to babysit. As Lucas has another bout of cough and cold, I will stay home from school tomorrow - yes, another excuse not to send him to the dreaded creche.
Since Lucas went back to the creche after the Christmas break, we found that his caregiver has changed to another caregiver - the same one that complained relentlessly about Lucas everytime she sees me or Fred. The change in caregivers actually happened before the break but as Lucas was missing quite a lot of creche time due to his bouts of coughs and colds, it wasn't until he went back after Christmas break that he didn't seem happy or excited to be there.
Nowadays he screams and clings to me when its time to leave him at the creche and whenever I arrive to pick him up, its always to find him crying, sometimes in a corner alone like today. My instincts tell me to take him away and I spoke to Fred who came to the same conclusion - that maybe the creche is not a suitable place for Lucas and that the caregivers are overwhelmed and shorthanded as there are too many kids.
The limit is 20 kids a day, but there were only 3 caregivers today when I picked Lucas and one of the caregivers was the principal of the Garderie. Lucas stopped crying immediately when he saw me, he ran to me and after I picked him up, turned to everyone and waved goodbye. It was like he couldn't wait to get out of there!
Today that alarm went off in my head, and I am not going to ignore that bell. We will look for a private creche (in a qualified nanny's home, with references) instead. For now, I will take care of Lucas myself, but while I am still obligated to attend my compulsory classes until April, it is going to be a juggle. Fred will speak to his mother tonight and I am crossing me fingers that she will agree to help us out until we find a nanny for Lucas.

How do we know if we are making the right daycare choice? Especially with a non-verbal toddler like Lucas it can be quite a challenge because he cannot express himself and is unable to tell me how he is adjusting in creche. But while it is normal for toddlers to cling to their parents during daycare drop-offs, this behavior should improve over time - with Lucas it has deteriorated instead. Toddlers who are happily adjusted to the creche should stop crying shortly after their parents leave their sight and settle in to another activity. Lucas' crying seems excessive at drop offs and does not seem to get better over time, for me, it is enough to conclude that this creche is not a good fit for him.

More on Lucas

Lucas has been sleeping erratically for the past few weeks, waking up every couple of hours instead of sleeping through the night. He has also been extremely clingy to me since we spent Christmas holidays together 24/7 without creche, school or mamy. Nowadays when I send him to creche, he cries when I leave and according to his caregivers, he has been crying for no apparent reason and they cannot figure out what exactly is bothering him since he refuses to talk.
At home we know why Lucas pitches a crying episode everytime, but I guess the caregivers in that creche cannot know Lucas as well as we do since he is there for a short while only.

Dr. Kyle Pruett, a clinical psychiatrist at Yale’s Child Study Center and author of Me, Myself and I: How Children Build Their Sense of Self: 18 to 36 Months, says that clingyness is actually a toddler’s natural response to his or her primary “assignment” – becoming autonomous. Even at the tender ages of 1, 2 and 3, children want to be independent, and their entire childhood will be about making that happen – but it’s a very gradual process and it can be scary. Clinging on to Mom or Dad at certain moments is an attempt to downsize that scariness.

“It’s really important for parents to understand that clinging is a toddler’s course-correction, as if he’s saying ‘I’ve gone too far, I need my mommy, I need my daddy. I’m scared,’” Pruett explains. “It’s a response to this normal process of becoming his own person.”

I guess the caregivers at the creche are not used to such clingyness since most of the toddlers have been going to this creche full time since they were 6 months old. Lucas is a very new addition compared to the rest of the kids.
Anyway since last Thursday we decided to give Lucas his own room, with all his toys and books and his CD player. He now has his own private space where he can go to if he wants some time on his own without mama or papa at his back telling him not to climb or not to touch...
On the first night he woke up every 2-3 hours looking for me. That resulted in a very tired Lucas the next day, sleeping more in the afternoon, which is not good for us since he would then repeat the same nightly waking up rituals.
So I decided to try giving Lucas some chamomile infusion before he goes to bed, just a few mouthfuls and he's been sleeping through the night since. Chamomile infusion is also good when you want to calm down an antsy toddler when taking a long flight.

Lucas surprised me 2 days ago when he finished his dinner! He has always been such a picky eater and would only have a few spoonfuls of what I was serving or sometimes nothing at all. Even with his steak hache, there are times when he would not want it at all, other times he finishes 3-4 mouthfuls before he starts playing with the food.
But 2 nights ago I made curry chicken with potatoes (my Lucas is definitely Malaysian with Malaysian tastebuds ...!) and I mixed it with rice, and decided to try feeding it to him while he was distracted watching Sesame Street. He wasn't that distracted and actually refused to eat until he looked into the bowl and he also took the bowl and smelled the food. Then he opened his mouth voluntarily :) AND he continued eating until he finished. Yes, even the potato bits and the chicken pieces! Yesterday he also ate Bak Kut Teh mixed with chinese cabbage and pork :)

Yesterday I wanted to bring Lucas out to the playground but after we came out from the apartment it started to rain so I detoured and brought him to the playgym instead - which was a HUGE mistake as there were a lot of hyperactive kids in that playgym. Somehow I didn't think it would be that bad and brought Lucas into the 1-4 year olds play area. Things were fine for a while until a bigger kid, he must have been 6 or 7 year old came into the enclosed area and started throwing the foam covered toys and blocks around. He was also running around and climbing and jumping down without looking to see if the kids were near him. Totally uncontrollable and his parents didn't do anything about it. Lucas decided that it was time for him to get out and wanted to go to the jumping area, so we waited til the place was empty and I put Lucas into the enclosed area. 1 minute later a bunch of hooligans came screaming and running and started jumping around Lucas, not being mindful and Lucas was close to being trampled. I had to scream at the kids to stop but they ignored me and I was about to get in, shoes and all when a girl who was about 7 took Lucas and brought him to me. Lucas also got bullied in another enclosed area where the kids can play with hundreds of balls - again, older kids came running through the pit with Lucas sitting there and one particular girl, an angelic looking kid with blonde ringlets and rosebud lips took an instant dislike to Lucas and I was shocked to see her shoving Lucas into the balls and holding him down! I wanted to clobber her for doing that. She was nasty!!!! I ranted at her in English of course and added the word "mechant" but she just looked at me and walked off. My lesson learnt yesterday - no more playgym if its full of kids. Albeit some of the kids were relly sweet to Lucas, and were helping him climb up the slide and were mindful of him but then there is always one or two kids with serious psychological problems and parents who do not seem to care that their kids are misbehaving.

Stephenie Meyer's Twilight - Edward & Bella's story

I am a Twilight fan. I have watched that movie at least 20 times now and can still continue to watch it without getting bored. I have also read all 4 books, 3 times... Since New Moon was only released recently, I have not been able to watch New Moon in English so I opt to wait for the New Moon DVD. In the meantime I can watch Twilight yet again.... for Edward Cullen :)

Robert Pattinson is Edward Cullen in Twilight. He was an unknown actor before he starred in Twilight. Acting as Edward Cullen has made gazillions of women, young and old fall in love with him. Seriously, there are at least 7 books on sale on Amazon on Robert Pattinson and literally about a hundred "robsessed" fansites!
Apparently, he auditioned for the role of Edward just to meet Kristen Stewart who plays Bella in Twilight. Needless to say, these two have driven fans crazy wondering when they will finally hook up in real life (which they already have, BTW...)

For those of you who have not read Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, here is a summary of the storyline:
In Twilight,  Edward meets Bella, a human girl whose thoughts he is unable to read, and whose blood smells really good and he describes it to her as "his own personal heroin". He fights a growing attraction to her, but after saving her life on several occasions, he succumbs and eventually falls in love with her. Bella finds out that Edward is a vampire and that although he retains the physical body of a seventeen-year-old, he was actually born on June 20, 1901. His adoptive father, transformed him into a vampire to prevent him from dying of spanish influenza. Carlisle, Edward's adoptive father also instilled in him a sense of morality uncommon in most vampires, and central to his way of life is the refusal to consider humans as food.
However, Edward constantly warns Bella against being with him, perceiving her life to be at risk if she continues to associate with him. Bella's love and confidence in Edward's restraint cause her to ignore his warnings, even after she becomes the target of a tracker vampire called James. Unlike the Cullen family, who are "vegetarian" vampires (committed to only feeding on animals), James regularly feeds on humans and drains them dry and will not stop until he drinks Bella's blood. With his family's help, Edward is able to save Bella from James.














I resisted reading the Twilight Saga as it was supposed to be for young teens (and we all know that I am no longer a teenager...). I actually watched the Twilight DVD first, got hooked then went to MPH and bought all 4 books.  For those of you who haven't read the Twilight Saga, I urge you to go buy Twilight today :) Stephanie Meyer is a brilliant author who weaves her spell in all 4 books, giving us a beautiful love story between Edward the vampire (who instead of being a monster, she made him beautiful and good, with skin like diamonds when exposed to sunlight) and Bella (a teenager who is far from perfect).

New Year Resolutions

I just realized that its January 15th already! Yesterday at my French class I was still writing the date as 14 Janvier 2009!!!!! January is the month for new beginnings and change! This is the time when you are contemplating on your life and writing down NY resolutions. Me, do I believe in NY resolutions? I believe that NY resolutions are made to be broken, having experienced it many many times in my many many years of making them (yes, I am that old....), so instead of making a list of resolutions, why not make a list of what you would like to do MORE in your life and what you would like LESS? Its more moderate than the carved in stone resolutions we make year after year only to find that by the end of the year, you have broken 90% of them!

What would you like to do MORE? More reading, more writing, more travelling, more sleeping,more dreaming, more yoga, more organizing, more pampering sessions, more savings, more time with family? And what would you want to do LESS? Less eating, less TV, less complaining, less stress, less spending, less drinking, less smoking, less caffeine.

I believe by starting out doing more or doing less of something you will find that your resolutions are easier to achieve at the end of the year. For me, my list is as follows:

1) Less time on Facebook/ email/ blogging = More time reading to Lucas
2) Less time inside this apartment = More time outside - a walk around the block or an hour at the playgym with Lucas. I am making a point to get out of the apartment everyday with Lucas.
3) Less time spent cleaning (I am not going to stress about picking up all my hair on the ground with masking tape...) = More time spent reading which is my favourite past time in this whole wide world... so the overflowing laundry can wait til I finish another chapter on my book :)
4) Less time chatting online = More time socializing (I admit I haven't put that much of an effort in making new friends after my disappointing encounter with one of the girls in my class, and I have been totally immersed in being with Lucas which is not healthy, I know. But sometimes I feel like I have no time for anyone else in my life, being so caught up with my life as a SAHM and also being the cleaner, the cook and the educator. But I will make more time and effort for my new friends on my "time out" when Fred stays home with Lucas.)
5) Less drinking coffee = More drinking water ( I don't need to elaborate... 2 words :canker sores"....)
6) Less "quick meals" or instant meals = more healthy, fresh meals for my family
7) Less TV time in the evenings (except when my favourite series are on, of course...) = more time revising my French
8) Less time stressing and focusing on the bad = more time being thankful for our many blessings and more time appreciating all the simple things in life (Fred and I were just reminiscing about our life in Kuala Lumpur and about our beautiful apartment and our friends we left behind and the "high life" that we got used to in KL - breakfast at La Bodega, coffee at Starbucks, bagels from San Francisco Coffee, yummy meals at Delicious, Rocky's, Nirvana's, Chili's, Rama V and all that salmon sashimi...Compared to that life, being here in France is a far cry. But we are thankful that we have enough, we have a roof over our heads, we have a warm and comfortable place - in the news recently there are families in France who are cutting down on food so they can increase heating in their homes...; we have food on the table; we have good health; we can each have our "extras" - in my case, books from Amazon and my little shopping sojourns :) So yes, we are indeed blessed and are thankful for what we have.

And lastly as I turn 40 this year, this is my New Year Prayer:
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Bonne Annee everyone! 

Olives

Since I moved to France I found myself addicted to green olives. Back in Malaysia, I hated them after trying a few at a neighbor's house and would always request that my pizzas have no olives. So it came as a huge surprise to myself that I am now craving my daily olives fix!
I am not too sure how this addiction came about but I think Fred brought back a bottle of olives one day and added them to the salad. Now I have olives with salads, pizza, pasta and whatever else I can mix it with without being too weird. When I am watching TV or am craving a snack, its the olives that I turn to (no longer Lay's Salt and Vinegar chips, thank God!!!!)
I find myself buying the XL sized bottle of green olives nowadays, instead of the small one since I tend to run out of my favourite snack quite fast! But since all the olives that I buy are soaked in brine and therefore very salty (I always wash them to rinse out the brine), I decided to check and see if my indulgence is healthy or not, and the following is what I found out:

Nutritional Value of Olives
Given below is the amount of nutrients present in three olives, combined together:
* Fat - 2.5
* Cholesterol - 0mg
* Sodium - 110mg
* Carbohydrate - 1g
* Calories - 25
* Protein: 0g
* Iron
* Vitamin E
* Dietary Fiber
* Copper
* Fatty Acids
* Amino Acids

Nutritional Value of Olive Oil
Given below is the amount of nutrients present in 100 gm olive oil:
* Energy - 900 cal
* Saturated Fats - 15.6 gm
* Unsaturated Fats - 73.4 gm
* Poly-saturated Fats - 9.5 gm
* Vitamin E - 19.4 mg

Did you know...

* The mono-saturated fats present in olives/olive oil, when combined with the antioxidant protection offered by vitamin E, lower the risk of damage and inflammation.
* Olive/olive oil contains active phytonutrient compounds, including polyphenols and flavonoids, which have been found to have significant anti-inflammatory properties.
* The vitamin E present in olives/olive oil has been known to offer cellular protection against free radicals present in the body.
* Olives/olive oil prevents the oxidation of cholesterol in the body and thus, helps reduce the risk of having heart attack or stroke.
* Since they help the body in neutralizing free radicals, the nutrients in olives/olive oil also lead to prevention of colon cancer.
* Olives/olive oil are said to be effective in reducing the frequency and/or intensity of hot flashes in women, who are going through menopause.
* Regular consumption of olive oil has been associated with decrease in systolic (maximum) as well as diastolic (minimum) blood pressure.
* Those who consume olives/olive oil are at a lesser risk of developing diabetes at later stages in life.
* Good quality olive/olive oil contains a natural chemical that acts like a painkiller.

Olive/olive oil has been known to be beneficial for people suffering from the following ailments:
* Asthma
* Osteoarthritis
* Rheumatoid Arthritis
* Arteriosclerosis
* Stomach Problems
* Constipation
* Diabetes

When you’re shopping for olive oil, always purchase oil that has been cold-pressed.  Heat processing destroys the better properties of oil. Extra-virgin olive oil is probably the healthiest. It is the “first pressed” and has a lovely flavor. Extra-virgin is the lowest in acidity and is the purest. Virgin oil also has a nice taste, but the acidity is higher than in extra-virgin oil. “Normal” olive oil is not as pure and has been refined, a process which can remove the benefits of the extra-virgin oils. Olive oil is stable and does not turn rancid as easily, but it is best not to buy it in huge quantities. I use olive oil for most of my cooking unless I am deep frying foods. We consume a lot of salad at every meal, and besides the olives that I add into the sald, I also use olive oil together with balsamic vinegar or apple cider vinegar and mustard as the sauce.

Fallen woman

Today I slipped and fell on a patch of ice just outside Lucas' creche. Somehow I couldn't regain my balance and pitched forward as the ice was so slippery. I was more mortified than anything else... and my first reaction was to look around to see if anyone saw me fall. Yup, a few of the mothers saw me but no one helped. Just a lot of sympathetic looks... Anyway I got back up real fast :)
Now my right leg is hurting - I think I may have twisted a muscle cos it hurts when I try to kneel (to change Lucas' diapers...)

Looks like mom's Yoko Yoko arrived just in time....

Lucas at 27 months

If you have been following my blog, you will know that Lucas has been unwell the past 2.5 months, starting from a seemingly normal cough and cold which turned out to be bronchitis, to a persistent normal cold which then affected his right ear resulting in an ear infection, after which he passed me his cold and then I inadvertently passed it back to him together with a cough. The cold and cough ping ponged back and forth between Lucas and I and now seems to be gone already. Then Fred came down with a really bad bout of "gastro" - stomach flu which causes headaches, tummyaches, vomiting and diarrhea. Last Thursday my MIL was babysitting Lucas and on Thursday night she came down with gastro, and Fred started showing symptoms (i.e kept hording the toilet) on Saturday. At first it seemed like Lucas and I were OK, but Lucas started pooing soft stools which I thought was due to the pureed apples and pears I gave him. But he pooed 3 times on Saturday. But since his stools were just soft we decided to wait and see. Sunday morning Lucas woke up early because he pooed, and his papa put him in the shower to clean him off. But on that day, Lucas only pooed once.
Today, Lucas was fine so we sent him to creche while I went to school. But tonight after his milk and cookies he pooed twice, both watery. He was also irritable today at school and at home. I wonder if its because his tummy is aching? But he is still his active self and to take precautions I am giving him a lot of fluids. I am starting him on the BRATTY diet tomorrow - Banana (I need to mash it and hide it in his cereal), rice, applesauce, toast, tea (weak green tea or chamomile tea) and yoghurt. BRATTY is supposed to help when one has diarrhea.
Thank God that Lucas loves to drink water and loves his milk so I just need to increase the doses. For now that is all we can do for his gastro, since the doctor will also tell us to keep his fluids up and if the diarrhea doesn't stop, prescribe imodium...

Anyway in tha past week, Lucas has also been exhibiting terrible full on tantrums - screaming, back arching, throwing himself on the floor, arms and legs flaying while screaming at the top of his lungs. I have absolutely no idea where he learnt how to do that! He is now throwing his tantrums over the smallest thing. I have been ignoring his tantrums and walking away but Fred cannot stand his screaming. Fred also told me he showed Lucas "Super Nanny" and thinks Lucas learnt how to throw a full blown mother of a tantrum from watching Super Nanny!
Lucas hates the word "no" except when it comes from him! But on the other hand, he has also calmed down in many other ways. He can now sit quietly and eat his cookie or his breakfast (in front of the telly, watching Elmo...). Today he came to me and said "ka ka" because he pooed. He also took his "First book of Animals" and instead of pointing out the animals for me to read to him, read it back to me, much to my amazement! He even attempted to say "ladybird" and "peacock".
His favourite things to do these days is to push the chair to the kitchen sink, ask mama to fill up his drinking glass with water (he insists on drinking from a porcelain cup or a normal glass) and he practises fine tuning his motor skills by pouring water out from one glass to another without spilling. Lucas also insists on taking the DVD out from the DVD player himself and inserting a new DVD before asking us to switch on the DVD for him.
We have also managed to get Lucas to wear his beanie and his mittens when he goes out in the cold. Previously he hated it and would take them off inspite of the biting cold.
As much as he has progressed tho, Lucas is still not saying "mama". He says "papa" ALL the time....

Last week he took some brocolli out from the fridge and said "tree". :)
He says "please" when he wants something and then "merci" when he gets it. He says "more" when he wants another cookie or more cereal or water. He says "cookie". When he is about to throw his ball at me, he says "catch", when he is about to kick the ball he says "kick".
When we announce that we are going out, he brings his shoes for us to help him. He also says "shoes".
Lucas knows the difference between a circle, a triangle, an oval, a square and a star. He also recognises colors like yellow, green and blue - thanks to the colored stickers I bought for him to play with. Everytime he asks me for a colored sticker I tell him if its blue or red or green or yellow or pink.
He knows when its time for a diaper change or for clothes change - he starts running away and wants me to catch him. When its milk time, he wants me to carry him to the bean bag and lie him down.
He pretends to talk on the phone all the time, having imaginary conversations and then passing me the phone, looking bemused when I start having a conversation with his imaginary friend.
He says "bye" and "au revoir" and blows kisses when its time to leave or when his papa leaves for work.

He also smiles for the camera now :)

Care Pack from mom :)

The roads in Tarbes are slick with ice after the heavy snowfall. For one who is not used to it, I nearly fell so many times but thank God each time I've managed to regain my balance. Fred tells me that people have broken bones by skidding on icy roads.

Last Saturday I had an appointment in town with my friend. I wanted to bus it in as I have never driven in the snow before and was rather fearful of driving. Unfortunately for me, after trudging out in the cold and waiting for a good 20 minutes, the bus never came. In a way it was a good thing I suppose as I then got into my car and drove slowly towards Centreville.

This morning, the car doors refused to slide open as the rubber was frozen from the cold. It was -3 this morning as Lucas & I finally managed to drive to school. Fred had to come downstairs and force open the door.

Then he found out that he should not have done that cos if he'd damaged the rubber, to replace it would cost us 160 euros!

And finally today I came home and found that the stuff my mom sent is finally here! Oh joy!!!! I was so happy to see the maggi mee, yoko yoko (for my rheumatism...poor me...), my special shampoo that prevents hair loss and makes my hair grow extra fast and all the sachets of rendang mix, garlic prawns mix, sweet and sour ribs mix... and of course Lucas' favourite - the cucur mix in various flavors!!!!

I immediately broke open the Asam Laksa maggi mee for lunch :)

Now my life will feel complete if I could have some Char Koay Teow and TI chee cheong fun.... and some roti canai and teh tarik...                                                                                                                           

Najib backs right to protest "Allah" judgement

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/malaysia/48775-najib-backs-right-to-protest-allah-judgment


I have to say I am disappointed that the current PM is not nipping this in the bud and allowing this atrocity to continue. By not taking a firm stand and stopping this, the racial disparity among Malaysians will only become worst. By having double standards where and when it suits him and his Government, he is showing the world that he is not strong enough to lead Malaysia.

Attacks after Malaysian court rules Christians can worship Allah - Times Online

Attacks after Malaysian court rules Christians can worship Allah - Times Online

The BIG Sale!

The timing of sales in France is decided by the Government. In France there are only two legal sale periods each lasting a maximum of 6 weeks; winter sales (soldes d'hiver) in January and summer sales (Soldes d'été) in July.
Since 2009 however, there is now a third, floating sale period. Shops can have these when they choose and they must run for two consecutive weeks. Bargains of over 50% can be found in abundance. There is usually a nationwide start and then each department sets its own end date after a local government consultation with retail companies.

The logic behind having set sale times nationwide is that shops should not be allowed to "buy in" goods for sales, but that goods in a sale must be genuinely reduced items.





Today is the first day of the winter sales here in France. As I was expecting it to snow, I didn't make any plans to go out to town for the sales. The meteo was wrong tho' as today turned out to be nice sunny weather.
However, my decision not to go into town for the first day of sale turned out to be the right one. My MIL tells me there are too many people looking for bargains.
At the 1 pm news, the news report showed hordes of people waiting outside Zara stores this morning. At another big shopping mall, the crowd got impatient waiting for the metal shutter to open and people were actually crawling underneath the shutters to get into the mall and running as fast as they can to grab the products in the shops!
It seems that the winter sales here are not confined to just clothes and accessories but also to groceries and electricals, almost everything is on sale from 30% to 75% off! Some hypermarkets are advertising buy 1 product, you get another same product for free.

I am tempted to drive to Pau for a day of shopping tho, it would be so nice to be able to spend the whole entire day out in the shops with some girlies sans husband and baby.....

January 6 - Fetes des Rois

In France, on Epiphany (January 6th)the French eat the galette des Rois as a yearly tradition.
The 6th of January marks the “day of the kings”, commemorating the Kings who arrived to pay hommage to the Infant Jesus. The galette des rois or King’s cake is part of the celebration.
The cake contains a lucky charm (une fève) which was originally a bean, a symbol of fertility. Whoever found the charm in their slice of cake, became King or Queen and had to buy a round of drinks for all their companions. This sometimes resulted in stingy behaviour and to avoid buying a round of drinks, the potential King or Queen very often swallowed the bean! Which was why towards the end of the 19th and the beginning of the 20th centuries, the lucky charm started being made of porcelain. The charm can take any shape or form and can either be very plain or more sophisticated (glazed or handpainted). It sometimes represents a religious figure such as the baby Jesus, but it can be virtually anything. Little horseshoe shapes are popular as they are thought to bring luck. Although nowadays very often made of plastic, old-fashioned china charms are still used and they have become collectable items kept in the family and passed down to the next generation, like the santons in the Christmas creche.

The modern Galette des Rois is made of puff pastry and can be plain or filled with frangipane, an almond-flavoured paste. It is sold in all French bakeries and eating the galette at the beginning of January is still a very popular tradition and an opportunity for families and friends to gather around the table. The youngest person in the room (usually a child) hides under the table and shouts out which guest each slice of cake should be given to. The person who finds the fève in their slice of galette becomes the King or Queen and is given a golden paper crown. The King or Queen then has to choose his Queen or her King, by dropping the lucky charm in their glass.

Last night in the news, it was announced that the galette des rois is a 900 million euro industry and 60 million galettes are sold yearly here in France!

Please, please go away!!!!

Day 6 - canker sores still here inspite of my trying out several home remedies. If anything, my sores have gotten bigger and another one popped out next to the one on my upper lip! I couldn't eat, couldn't drink and couldn't talk because the one on my tongue hurts like hell. To top it all off, I now have a cold as well...
Yesterday Fred came home with an antiseptic mouthwash and medication recommended by the pharmacist. The medication acts as a protective barrier against my saliva and food and drinks, it forms a white film on the sore and is supposed to help heal the sore. It really hurts when I apply the film but in seconds the pain is gone and I found that I could eat and drink and even hold a conversation once again!

Having canker sores made me find out what is the root cause of getting it and how to prevent them.
Canker sores can develop anywhere in the mouth, but the most common and most painful types are those that appear on the tongue. Despite popular belief, they are neither contagious nor are they caused or spread by a virus. They usually occur as a result of a food allergy, medication reaction, or local trauma. This trauma can be caused by things like accidentally biting the inside of your cheek, toothbrushes or even abrasive foods like potato chips or pretzels. There are a number of possible canker sore causes, but nothing is certain. Stress could be causing your canker sores. Eating crunchy foods or foods with sharp edges, like chips, and spicy foods can be the cause of canker sores as well. Even nutritional deficiencies have been attributed to recurring canker sores.
For me, my canker sores are caused by the ginger tea that I consumed, I think my body was already starting to get heaty as I was eating a lot of mangoes as well, and drinking copious amounts of pineapple juice didn't help as it increased the acidity in my body.

Canker sores treatment and prevention:
1)Avoid toothpastes with sodium lauryl sulfate, or SLS. SLS is a foaming agent in many brand name toothpastes, and studies done show that people who suffer from canker sores are up to 80% less likely to get those sores if they use toothpaste without SLS in them.

2)For canker sore relief, it is recommended that you try Benzocaine or Advil.
Benzocaine is a main ingredient of almost all anesthetic mouth gels. It does not have any anti septic properties but only numbs the pain for some time. It is to be applied topically upon the canker sores on the tongue. Although, its effects begin to wear off after half an hour, it is not advisable to apply it every half an hour. In Malaysia, the product is called Benadryl mouthwash.
If a canker sore is particularly painful, you should try using a product like Bonjela or an anti inflammatory medicine like Ponstan.

3)Hydrogen peroxide is a very effective antiseptic against all forms of infections. Its application on the wound kills the germs and helps to treat canker sores on tongue. It is readily available at the pharmacy shop, but it has to be diluted by 50% before applying it. Apply it 3-4 times a day on the sores until they heal completely.

4)Antibacterial agents have shown to help treat and get rid of canker sores. Mouthwashes like Listerine are perfect examples of antibacterial agents. You can also go with an iodine-based mouthwash as well. Iodine makes for a great canker sore cure if applied regularly, but don’t swallow it.

5)Salt and baking soda are natural antiseptic substances. Take an equal amount of salt and baking soda and dilute in water. Apply this mixture on the canker sores on tongue at least 3-4 times a day. You can also use the solution to swish, until the sores heal completely. Apparently if you dab baking soda directly onto the sore, it helps heal the sore faster.

6)My aunt emailed me to try gently rubbing garlic onto the sore as garlic is known to be a natural antiseptic - definitely NOT for the faint hearted! It was really really painful ; I had tears in my eyes, and the smell of garlic stayed in my mouth all day - not that it matters anyway cos I am in France... and the French are thought to rub garlic onto their armpits everyday LOLs... (actually since I've been here I hardly ever smelt a bad smelling french.... even the SDF do not smell bad, but I will wait til its Summer time and let you all know if they still smell OK...)

From what I have read on the many sites on the internet, canker sores can't really be cured--it just takes time for them to heal, sometimes up to 6 weeks! If the canker sore remedy you're looking at says it will help to dull the pain and protect the sore, then that's good enough for now.

What to eat with canker sores:
* Eat soft, bland foods that are easy to swallow, such as yogurt or cream soup. Cut your food into small pieces or mash or puree it. Avoid coffee, chocolate, spicy or salty foods, citrus fruits or juices, nuts, seeds, and tomatoes.
* Drink cold fluids, such as water or iced tea, or eat Popsicles. Sometimes fluid touching the canker sore can cause a stinging pain. Use a straw so the fluid doesn't touch the canker sore. Hold ice on the canker sore until it is numb.
* Rinse your mouth with salt water as an alternative to an antiseptic mouthwash. To make a salt water rinse, dissolve 1 tsp (5 g) of salt in 1 cup (250 mL) of warm water.
* Buy an over-the-counter medicine such as milk of magnesia to put on your canker sores. Use a cotton swab to apply the medicine. Put it on your sores 3 to 4 times a day.
* Take a pain reliever, such as nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), including aspirin (such as Bayer), ibuprofen (such as Advil), or naproxen sodium. In France, you can get Ponstyl but you need a doctor's prescription.
In general, it is important to get enough vitamins and minerals in your diet, like folic acid, vitamin B12, zinc, and iron.

Now all the "western" ideals aside, I believe the cause of my mouth ulcers is because I am "heaty".
When a Chinese uses the terms 'heaty' or 'heatiness' to describe the kinds of foods to have or avoid, most Westerners would probably have no idea what those concepts are or find them strange. The notion of heaty (yang)(as opposed to cooling or yin) is related to the balancing of ‘yin’ and ‘yang’. To most people, especially the chinese it is important to avoid heatiness which will cause mouth ulcers, hot flushes, acne, sore throat and constipation among other ailments.
My aunt in Seattle says she will send me "pat chi chou" since I cannot get in here, for me to boil with rock sugar and drink to cool my body down. Once my body cools, the mouth ulcers will disappear. If I had some "Hor Yan Ho" tea, I'd drink that every 4 hours to cool down my body.
To avoid heatiness, one should reduce fried, hot and spicy foods and drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.