May Day!

Its been a long time since my last blog - picking up on the meeting with Noelle, she actually sent the school nurse to our home for a meeting with both parents on how to make Lucas eat. But as it is easier said than done, Lucas is still not eating his veges or fruits - though he is eating baby carrots now :) He started munching on them when he saw Sandra, our pregnant friend eating them and he wanted to try, saying that it was so cute (cos they were "babies" , like him!!!)

Speechwise, Lucas has improved tremendously, even invoking feelings of panic in me when I noticed that he is speaking more french than english sometimes. When we received his class photo, I was surprised that Lucas could name all of his classmates (all except one, that he refused to say her name - I will explain why later). 

For my 41st birthday, Lucas sang me "Happy Birthday" - yes, the full song :) And he also sings in school, according to Eliane, his favourite song is "Petite Escargot". Yesterday, on a day trip out to a farm for kids with other moms from Gepetto, Lucas sang "Petite Escargot" for us! He also loves singing after his BeeBo "Sing, Sign & Play" CD, he dances and plays his piano and guitar (I bought him a child's guitar, an authentic guitar with real strings that he can strum and pluck) AND he loves singing Myley Cyrus' "See you again"!

A week after my birthday, when I went to pick Lucas from school, one of the mothers from school (who also happens to be my MIL's friend) stopped me and told me that she'd arrived early at school that day and heard Lucas screaming for help behind the hedge of the school. She ran towards the cry and found 2 girls beating Lucas. One girl held his hands behind his back while the other bashed him repeatedly. This was during playtime and none of the adults in the school heard him or came to his rescue. 

The girls are sisters, one of them is in Lucas' class - the one he refuses to name. In fact, when I told Lucas' friend's mother about the beating, she asked her daughter if she knew who has been beating Lucas and she immediately said "Olpha". And I found out that she was right. This beatings must have been going on since school reopened in April, because Lucas would cling to me and refuse to let me go when I dropped him off. He did not know how to tell us he was being bullied in school although now I realize that he said "beat, beat" many times - but I thought he was saying that to our newly adopted puppy (more on that later!) 

The girls were also calling him "bridé" which means "slit-eyes". We wrote a formal letter to the school and the headmistress immediately told me that when the mother alerted them that Lucas was beaten by the 2 sisters, they already took action to punish the girls. And the girls were also being punished for another week in school - no playtime for them, instead they have to sit in the headmistress' office and she will continue to lecture them on beatings and racism. She also called the girls' father and told him about Lucas and he has also said that he took action - I noticed that the girls were away from school for a week or so before I bumped into Olpha and her dad in class last Monday. It was a bit tense in class when I walked in - I could feel Eliane and Noelle tensing up , I think its because they saw how very upset I was when I talked to them about the beating and they were expecting me to go off at the dad; but I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything (I will trust Noelle and her team to take care of the matter and keep Lucas safe). 

Back at home, both Fred & I told Lucas that we know what is going on and that he has nothing more to worry about - that he can trust us to protect him. After we reassured him, he slept well that night, and the next day when he went back to school, Noelle told him that the 2 girls are being punished and he nodded to show he understood, and told Noelle that they beat him (in french). In the end I noticed that as a result of the beating, the area behind the hedge has been cordoned off - great but it had to be Lucas who had to take a beating for it to happen. That area is in fact unsafe and hides the kids from the adults.

Back to the puppy, we adopted a gorgeous little pup, Lucas named her "MoMo" and she stayed with us for 3 weeks before I gave her away to Sandra & Didier for her safety (and Lucas'). Lucas was very rough and almost cruel with her, jumping on her repeatedly and pulling her ears and she was starting to fight back. On the day we decided to give her away, she bit Lucas. 

Anyway last weekend, we visited MoMo in her new home - she has grown so much and is happy, I saw her eating confit and paté from the gité!!!! I now realize that adopting a puppy is like having another child in the house; double the mess, double the fatigue, double the mischief!!!!! And I had to "potty train" the pup :P Each time I scooped up crap, I was telling myself "oh noooooo....!!!!"   

Now life is back to "normal", no more waking up early to take the pup out for its toilette (only she doesn't want to do it outside, she always waits for us to come back and she does it in my garden, killing my plants!!!!!), no more screaming in frustration at both Lucas & MoMo to stop trying to hurt each other and the best is, no more scooping up poop for me :)

Next time, I will adopt a mature dog who is already toilet trained and is calm enough to be with Lucas (but we will also wait for Lucas to be ready which will be a few years from now...)

Meeting

Yesterday when I went to pick Lucas, his teacher called me into the class and asked for a meeting with both parents. Oh my Gawwwdddddddd!!!! Here we go again!!!!! My heart dropped to my Campers and I felt like crying immediately. She said she wanted to discuss some important matters about Lucas - mainly his eating (or non-eating) habits, his french language and he hit one of his pals in school today.

When I got home I immediately picked up the phone and told Fred and all night we were stressing about the meeting.

That night I was so stressed, my gastric started - the pain was so bad, I could not sleep and got up at midnight, looking for something to relief the pain. But I had no meds on hand, so I made do with pieces of toast and warm honey. Thank God, by 2.30 am, the pain subsided and I managed to get some sleep until Lucas woke me up at 5 am.

By noon, I'd broken out in hives.

At 4.30 pm, I was nauseous and a killer headache started.

I walked slowly to the school, like a prisoner walking the green mile to his execution.

On the upside , it was a wonderfully sunny day, almost like summer - it was 30 degrees and the sun was shining brightly.

Maybe its because of such a beautiful day that the teacher was surprisingly gentle with us. She did tell me, "please - don't cry ok?"

No, I wasn't about to cry - I was ready to talk out all the issues and see what I could do to improve with Lucas.

The teacher surprised me by telling me that she is extremely worried that Lucas is not eating in the canteen - apparently he has stopped eating, and refuses to even try the food. He acts up in the canteen, throwing cutleries, stamping feet witha resounding "no" when he is given food. Noelle (the teacher) said that his diet is totally not healthy and that he is existing the whole day on bread, water and crackers and he gets tired because he is not eating well.

I tell her we have that same problem at home - Lucas now only eats chicken nuggets, steak hache, meatballs or fish fingers. He rejects even rice and pasta now. No fruits or veges. He does drink a lot of water to fill his tummy. And he drinks a lot of milk.

For the past week, I have substituted his chocolate biscuits with high fibre crackers. And he doesn't get anymore ice cream. Noelle asked me to take out all things chocolate from Lucas' diet from now on.

We have also started serving Lucas the same food as Fred & I, and he sits at the table even though he doesn't want to eat the food. We all have dessert together after we finish (Lucas' meal is untouched for the past 2 nights). Dessert = vanilla yoghurt.

The past 2 nights Lucas has been going to bed on an empty tummy - this was advised by the paedy. Give him his dinner, if he doesn't eat it, tant pis. Don't give him anything else. So that's what we've been doing.

Noelle also insists that Fred speaks French to Lucas all the time now - which is fair. Fred does tend to revert back to English. But for her to say that my Lucas is not speaking french is not fair. Just this morning, he touched the lamp post outside the school and surprised me by saying "c'est froid!"

What she doesn't realize is that Lucas has only been exposed to french the past 7 months he's been in school. At home, we speak english. So in actual fact, I think he has been doing tremendously well in the recent months. He fully understands what is being said to him in french (Noelle confirms this) but for him to speak it, he sometimes has problems finding the words to express himself and make himself understood, which makes him utterly frustrated and, not knowing how to handle his own frustrations, he takes it out on his friend by hitting. Am I making excuses for Lucas' behavior? No, this is what we observed. When he is frustrated he gets upset. Especially when he is trying to say something and I don't understand him, he gets upset and raises his hand.

Anyway I am just happy that the meeting is over and done with. I am pleased that Lucas has a teacher who cares so much. He is truly blessed. Now, if only we can get him to start eating and trying new food...

Too much TV?

How much TV is too much TV? For a toddler like Lucas, I have read that we should restrict TV time to under an hour a day. But on the other hand, without TV (or in Lucas' case, its educational DVDs or Youtube) my son would not have been able to name animals, count til 20, name shapes and colors, sing with Barney, speak Spanish with Dora or sing nursery rhymes with Mother Goose and dance with Pororo.

Every morning when he is having his breakfast, the TV is switched on to Disney Channel - where he watches Agent Oso, followed by Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and then I switch channels to Rolie Polie Olie before he goes to school.

When he comes home, he usually asks for Pororo on the computer or he asks for a DVD while I cook dinner.

In between watching TV, he plays in his room, reads some books with me and I take a few minutes to flash him some cards (depending on his mood, if he feels like them).

So is Lucas getting too much TV? Does watching too much TV make him asocial? And hamper his imagination?

One thing I noticed about Lucas watching animations on YouTube is that he watches them in French, English, Spanish, Korean, Japanese and Italian. I try to limit the languages as Lucas tends to mix all his languages and comes off speaking a coffre of words that makes no sense except for the few english and french words thrown in. But does this mix allow Lucas to be more open to new languages when he grows up? Or is this going to turn into a speech problem for Lucas later on?

Speechwise, he has improved in the past 2 weeks - I find that he is speaking more french now, and his words are enunciated clearly now.

He comes home from school humming and singing - in french. But then he watches Pororo and starts singing in English and Korean as well!

I've decided earlier on that if Lucas is watching an educational DVD, then its fine - as long as he is learning stuff and not watching anything weird or violent (no Tom & Jerry for Lucas!). But the effects of watching more than an hour of TV a day is still not too apparent - should I worry that he does not have an imaginary friend? Does that mean he is not imaginative enough?

But how can he not be imaginative enough when he starts imagining monsters and such and tells me he's scared when the lights are switched off?

Job & such

God works in mysterious ways. Since my return from Malaysia, I have been praying for a sign and I have specifically been praying about going back to Malaysia; planning it to the last detail i.e French School for Lucas, a maid, an apartment within walking distance from the school, jobs etc. I started to apply for jobs in KL. Fred & I talked about what he would do when we moved back.

And then, on a weekend trip to Val D'Azun, Sandra mentioned in passing that her dad has been looking for an english speaking native and wouldn't it be good if I was looking for a job, then I could help her dad out. And Fred laughed and said, yes she's looking for a job! So Sandra called her dad and arranged for an interview for me. That was a month ago.

In that one month while waiting for a start date, many obstacles have come in my way. My boss, Sandra's dad took the wrong meds for his heart and had to be hospitalised, on the day I was supposed to start. After that, another date was given and the night before, he had a heart attack, causing much uproar in the station. No one could take me as they were intimidated by the fact that I spoke english and whilst I've assured them many times that I spoke and understood french, they still want me to be briefed by someone who spoke english - and that means my boss who is in hospital!

Now that we know he will be indisposed for the next 6 months, I am waiting for the new interim boss to speak to me. The past 17 days has been frustrating; I get up early and get ready for work - only to get that last minute phone call for me to stay put until further instructions. No biggie, a lot of people say cos I am still getting paid to play the waiting game but it gets irritating after a while - especially last Saturday when I woke up at 6 am to start work in Lourdes by 8 - the phone call came at 7.10 am and I was already driving out of Tarbes.

Finally the new boss tells me to sit and wait for a week while she sorts out the mess at the station. So this past week I have been more relaxed and not jump everytime the phone rings.

God works in mysterious ways, for sure. I was supposed to start Feb 2nd, then it was pushed to the 18th. And I was dreading missing out on Lucas' Carnaval at school (which I didn't) and then worrying about Lucas' 2 week school vacation. But with God's intervention, I managed to spend precious moments with Lucas while he is on his 2 week break.

In the past 1.5 weeks, I noticed my son getting bigger and speaking so much more now, in french and in english. He is also settling down and more calm; he eats at the table (for 15 minutes, sitting down) and he is getting more independant by the day! He is growing up so fast! If I had been at the office the past couple of weeks I would have missed all the milestones.

Lucas now gets the tissue paper to wipe his mouth after he finishes his chocolate milk every morning; and he throws away empty wrappers and milk cartons after he finishes - he says "poubelle" everytime.

He tries to clean himself after doing the deed in the toilet as well. He helps with cleaning up. New foods this month are cordon bleu dinde (turkey cordon bleu) and meatballs.

Favourite songs to sing - Pororo's Ribbit Frog, Incy wincy spider, rain rain go away and twinkle twinkle little star.

Lucas brings his coat and shoes to me when we are about to go out and when we come home, he takes off his coat and shoes himself and puts them back in their place. He chooses what he wants to wear and literally preens when I tell him he is handsome!

Favourite cartoons - Rolie Polie Olie, Pororo and Horton hears a Who.

Happy New Year!

Lucas has crossed many milestones since I last blogged. Its amazing how fast he's growing; its almost as if he is trying his darnest to catch up!

Firstly, he is now fully toilet trained - yay!!!! It was by accident that he is now doing both no.1 and no.2 in the toilet. The NY weekend was a long one and no shops were open ( Fred drove around for an hour looking for one...) and we'd run out of diapers. So we decided - this is it; Lucas will just have to learn to sleep without a diaper. On the first night, before he went to sleep, I reminded him repeatedly that he will no longer have a diaper, so if he needs to pee, he will wake up to go to the toilet. And Voila! like magic, he woke up twice that night and the bed was dry!

However, the next 2 nights he didn't manage to get up on time, and I've had to change him but not the beddings. And for the last 2 nights, he goes to the toilet before he gets to bed, and sleeps through the night!

He also caught up very fast when he wanted to do his ka-ka and didn't have a diaper. I had to bribe him at first but now, he's going to the toilet like a pro!

He's so cute, when he does the 'drop' he says "very good! Bravo!" and then he gets up, points to the toilet and says "mama! chocolat!" (LOLS!!!!!)

Lucas has also started spending all day in school, eating (yes, eating!!!!) in the canteen with his friends. He is also starting to speak in french and loves talking on the telephone.

My fearless little boy is no longer fearless - he is scared of the dark; and when he gets up onto the playgym and climbs too high, he is scared and doesn't know how to get down.

He is into smurfs and robots, he has a collection of both toys. He loves watching and reading anything with robots in them. And his appetite has improved, though he is still not eating his veges.

Lucas is still asking for Santa Claus and presents, even though Christmas is over - somehow he still doesn't understand (or he refuses to understand) that Santa only comes once a year... He wakes me up every morning asking to open presents from Santa....

Brothers & Sisters

I was watching Season 2 of Brothers & Sisters last night til really late. This morning when Lucas came looking for me, I thought it was still night (when it was actually early morning but because our electric shutters do not allow even a smidgen of light through, its all dark in the apartment and one can easily lose track of time that way) and brought him into our bed for more sleep. Before I know it, Fred hops out of bed and told me its 11.15 in the morning!!!! We had a wonderful sleep in, and are feeling rested and happy :)

Anyway, back to the series - being a mother, I worry that Lucas will grow up all alone. For sure, he will not have any first cousins here as Gilles will not be getting married or having any kids. And as I watch the series with envy (because to me that's exactly how a family should be, full of support and love and close camaraderie and that's what I want for Lucas) I find myself wishing things could be different.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family and I do not want that for Lucas at all. But I now realize that, what I cannot get from my family, I get it in abundance from my friends. My friends have become my family. I realized that during my last trip home - I am indeed lucky to have my cousin Allan, and most importantly I have really, really good friends who are true.

But for Lucas, who will grow up here in France, he will only have Fred & I and his grandma. Fred is also from a dysfunctional family of sorts (its proven that one from a dysfunctional family inadvertently attracts the same) and is not close to his cousins at all - his aunt lives less than 30 minutes away from us and we see her once a year, so for Lucas to meet up with his cousins once a year is not good enough to build a strong bond.
I would like Lucas to have childhood friends like I have, where years can pass with us not seeing each other yet when we meet again, we are still close and its as if no time have passed at all!

I wish we could give him a sibling or two or even three to grow up with but time is not on our side. If we can afford it I would have liked to adopt another child. But for now, I am glad that Lucas has gotten back into contact with his best buddy from the garderie, Plume and he has his 2 constant friends Matheo & Ixchel to play with.

Bully

I think I did a little boo-boo today :(

There is this angelic looking blonde boy in Lucas' class who is downright mean to Lucas, everytime he sees Lucas. When Lucas wanted to go play with him, he would start "shooting" at Lucas, with full sound effects and runs around Lucas shooting at him. A few times he'd shouted that Lucas is not my friend!

So this afternoon when I dropped Lucas off at school and we were walking in through the gates, along comes this boy and his younger brother and his pregnant mom. Lucas is happily walking to his class, minding his own business when this blondie comes running to Lucas with his brother and he starts his irritating "shooting" sounds again. His mother doesn't seem to care and since they didn't touch Lucas I didn't say anything, even though I was annoyed.

Then, his younger brother suddenly ran forward and with both hands pushed Lucas! My reflex reaction was to raise my voice and say "hey! stop!". All the mother did was pull her son off and gave me a dirty look, like I should not have shouted at her bully of a son.

Should I not have shouted? Should I have smacked that little twerp instead? His own mother doesn't seem to think that he's done anything wrong... Am I being over protective here?

Lucas turns 3

My baby Lucas,

How on earth did three years pass us by already? We celebrated your birthday in Malaysia twice, once at McDonalds in Ipoh and another with all your friends in Aunty Theresa's place. I couldn't help but reflect on the day you came into our lives 3 years ago - You are truly mama's miracle baby and one who brings so much joy to everyone who knows you. You are my little social baby, making friends and endearing yourself to everyone you meet.

This past year, as fast as it flew by has been such a fun one for you. You decided not to wait til you mastered English and French, instead you made up your own language and mixed it with both english and french (with bits of Spanish and Mandarin thrown in...) When you are at home, you are such an easy little boy, especially when your favourite DVD is on, but when you are out in any sort of wide open spaces, the chase is on. Friends, family, neighbors and strangers alike will attest to that. We get lots of comments on your high energy, some a bit patronizing, but we wouldn't change your love for life and the world around you for anything! (But I could really do without the chasing after you part)

Despite of your generally happy nature, you've started making such a fuss everytime we put you in bed for your nap! Its as if you feel like you are missing out on something important everytime you take a nap.

You have visited your naughty corner many times this past year and even though your sentence is only a minute, you show your unhappiness at being punished by crying as loud as you possibly can, and then after a while, you come over for a hug, saying "sorry mama".

Since Malaysia, you have become even more attached to your "lovey" and you are now rediscovering your love of brushing your teeth with toothpaste (though you really should not be swallowing the toothpaste and then asking for more).

You love:

Chocolates (especially ferero rocher & M&Ms peanuts) , pizza, chicken nuggets, fish fingers, ice cream, popcorn, chicken rice, milo, nesquik, peanut butter sandwiches, coconut yoghurt, cheese, pesto in your pasta, cream based spaghetti, Mickey, Thomas, watching "UP", Legos and building blocks, Baby Bright & Sesame Street, balls, balloons, cars, swimming, going for walks, cycling with papa, dancing and listening to music, playgrounds and especially the slides, saucisson and apples, Pororo, Dibo the gift dragon and Barney, bubbles and all animals, including birds, worms, bees and spiders.

You still need your diapers to "do the deed" or you can also do without, in your pants... anywhere but the potty! Your best friend is 4 year old Ixchel. You assert your independance these days by telling me what you want to wear and what you do not want to wear. You seem to prefer the company of adults. You can count 1 to 10- in 3 languages! You can also name colors, shapes and sizes, you recognize numbers and alphabets. You know how to work the TV, DVD player and CD player.

You are full of mischief and endless energy. I thank God everyday for such a wonderful baby, a happy and loving baby like you. You are forever mama's boy :)

Potty training made easy

If you have read my older posts about potty training Lucas, you would know the frustration I have been feeling as he has been so stubborn and resistant to being potty trained for many many months...

But what I've learned through this experience is that even though your baby may show signs of potty training readiness, you have to be patient and wait until they feel they are truly ready.

After many months of showing Lucas and telling him and teaching him about the potty, Lucas finally decided that he was ready to go to the potty everytime he wanted to pee.
3 days ago, he decided he didn't want the diaper anymore and he is now standing over the potty and peeing. He actually runs to the bathroom (where his potty is) and shuts the door to do the deed!

He still asks for his diaper when he wants to poo. When we ask him if he wants to poo into the potty or toilet he says "no". For me that means he is not ready, and I will continue to wait because he will be ready one of these days.

Lucas at 34 months

One significant milestone is that Lucas is now stringing words together to form sentences. He is also half potty trained - yay! Lucas now pees in the toilet and in the potty.

It just happened last week - at lunch he turned to Fred and said "papa, pee pee" and Fred put Lucas on the toilet (I continued eating lunch, not expecting Lucas to really pee as he's been doing that for months now, sitting but not doing the deed and then I heard Fred going "Bravo! Bravo!) and voila! Our baby boy is now happily peeing in the potty :)

So that's bye bye Halte Garderie and hello Ecole Maternelle in 2 weeks!!!!

We found that as Lucas grows older, he is also more obedient and listens more now. When I call him to come to me to get changed and he runs away, I start counting 1... 2.... and I say "don't make me count to 3", he actually comes to me!

When I switch off the water in the shower, there is no more screaming or crying. When I bring him out of the bath, he doesn't cling onto me anymore - instead he lets me dry him with a towel and slather moisteriser and dress him.

When he asks for ice cream for breakfast and I tell him no, he doesn't throw a tantrum.

Nowadays when Lucas does make a fuss and cry, I tell him to tell me what he wants as he is able to speak now, he promptly stops crying and TELLS me what he wants.

At the church yesterday for Roger's funeral, Lucas was really good. We decided to bring Lucas (I insisted on it even though my MIL said I should get someone to watch Lucas at home as I wanted Lucas to say goodbye to Roger as well) and before we left for the church I told Lucas that he needed to be quiet and to be good. And throughout the funeral, he was good. My MIL who was seated up front with Fred thought Lucas and I were outside the cathedral when in actual fact we were seated on the last pew. Lucas maintained calm throughout, even when he wanted to go up front to see what the priest was doing (preparing for holy communion) Lucas whispered to me instead of talking in his normal voice! AND we left his pacifier at home...

One thing that was important to note is that with Lucas, he needs to have boundaries and limits. And as parents he looks to us to show him his limits. We found that if we tell him no, we cannot relent to his tears or tantrums later. Also, we have to mean what we say. For example if he misbehaves and I tell him "if you do that one more time I will put you back in the stroller/ we will go home" I have to make sure I do what I say or else Lucas will do the forbidden thing again and again. Since we put this into practice Lucas has been easy, and stopped being tiring.

He now sits with us for meals. He now also knows that he won't get ice cream for dessert if he doesn't eat or if he throws his food. He knows better now how to express his frustration because we keep telling him that when he screams and cries we do not understand him and that he can tell us in his normal voice what is making him so angry. He plays independantly now and we often find him in his room reading or listening to music.

Lucas' last day at the creche

Lucas at 33 months

Lucas had a sudden growth spurt recently. He is now taller and looks lankier than before; lost a bit of weight while he grew vertically.

At 33 months, Lucas is growing more independant in the home while he clings to me when I drop him off at the garderie. Lucas now helps himself to the fridge - yes, he now knows how to open the fridge and I've had to move all the breakables up to the top shelves.

His favourite phrase in the morning is "mama, milk! I'm hungry" while rubbing his tummy. He also says "I wanna watch Mickey" and "put it back" and knows how to switch between french and english depending on who he is speaking to.

Lucas can now cycle on his tricycle (he also says "tricycle") and will insist on bringing the tricycle with us everytime we go out the door. He also switches the TV off when we are about to go out and tries to shut the windows. Lucas can now insert the correct key into the keyhole for both the main door and the main entrance.

Last week Lucas was downstairs playing on his tricycle when a neighbour's kid came out to play on his battery automated tricycle. Lucas watched the boy press on the pedal of the tricycle to move it and then when the boy climbed off, Lucas promptly climbed onto that tricycle and pressed on the pedal and off he went, with the other boy screaming murder!

At 33 months Lucas is still resistant to the potty. In fact now, he refuses to put on his pull ups. He wants his good old diaper. Even though he is going without the diaper at home, I notice he tries to keep it in til he gets the diaper OR he will tell me he wants to ka-ka and pass me the diaper.

Since the weather has been scorching lately Lucas' favourite snack is the ice cream cone. He doesn't ask for chocolate anymore - in fact he sometimes imitates me and says "no, no, no. no more choco" waving his finger. He knows well enough to ask for ice cream when he finishes his meals.

One significant difference lately is that Lucas refuses to nap - its hard getting him to take a nap even though he is tired as when he eventually sleeps after screaming and crying, he will sleep for 2-3 hours. At night however, when he goes to bed, he doesn't make a fuss. We can hear him talking to himself in bed until he nods off.

Lucas at Gepetto

Night market in Tarbes

Bubbly time at Gepetto

Lucas' school visit

Yesterday was our visit to Lucas' ecole maternelle. He will be starting school in September.

As far as first impressions go, this school is wonderful. The teacher who is also the directrice (Noelle) handled Lucas firmly but nicely. He willingly went to her even though he was grumpy when we left the apartment. She managed to catch his full attention, he even started babbling in baby talk to her - all this within the first 10 minutes!

After explaining school rules to us ( as a non working parent, I will bring Lucas at 8.45 am every Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri - there is no school on Wednesdays and drop him off in his class. Lucas will have a place to hang his coat and bag, and a change of clothes. The teacher advised me to bring him a snack but nothing too filling. In September Lucas has to be fully toilet trained but accidents may still happen; hence the change of clothes. She advises against the pacifier but says we can leave it in Lucas' bag, just in case. But it is better to start weaning Lucas off the pacifier now. (Lucas is down to his very last pacifier from Mothercare, and it will be interesting once that one breaks and we have to throw it away...)

As Ecole Maternelle Henri Du Parc is a public school, we need to pay only 18 euro a year. We actually considered private schooling for Lucas (39 euro a month) but I am happy to let him stay in this school. Henri Du Parc is less than 10 minutes' walk from where we live - even when we move, its an additional 5 minutes away. The private school for Lucas would have been a nightmare as it is downtown, near Jardin Massey.

Fred & I wanted another choice in case we didn't like the school allocated to Lucas but it looks fantastic, it was clean, the teachers were friendly, there was a huge gymnasium and outdoor play area - for Lucas that is important. There is even a herb garden. I liked that Noelle spoke TO Lucas and made eye contact with him.

Lucas will be in a class of 30 kids - he will have so many friends by September :)

Besides the usual arts and crafts, gym sessions, music classes et al, Lucas will also be taught Occitane - a dialect of this region as part of his syllabus.

Noelle was agreeable with Lucas starting off September with only morning sessions (845 - 12) for him to get used to going to school. If Lucas adapts fast, he will be attending school 845 - 12, I will pick him up for lunch at home and then send him back to school 2pm - 5 pm. For now it doesn't seem practical for Lucas as he is still napping in the afternoons at 2 pm - 4 pm.

My baby is going to school soon... I am happy yet sad at the same time. I will have more time to myself but will miss being with Lucas.

Lucas and his meds

*sigh* It is still so cold here in Tarbes, it feels like winter is back...

Lucas & I were out in town today as Lucas needed to see the doctor again, this time for conjunctivitis. Its another 7 days of "hell" - Lucas is on 7 days of antibiotics and the icing on the cake? After holding him down and giving him the antibiotics with a syringe (poor baby is crying and keeps saying "all done mama, all done" - his way of asking me to stop) I have to pop the top off sterile solution to wash his eyes - though why would I ever need to do that as he is bawling his eyes out by then, aren't tears nature's way of cleaning the eyes????; after which I have to put 2 drops of eye ointment into his eye.

Both mama and baby were utterly exhausted - Lucas was SWEATING from exertion! And to think... we have 6.5 days to go..., twice a day, morning and night :P

Its already hard for a mom to cope with a sick baby, but when baby is fighting the meds, it makes it all even harder. And Lucas is so strong now I have to literally pin him down.

However, I have to say that there has been improvement on Lucas' part when it comes to taking the meds - he will not voluntarily take the meds and he will cry but now, he swallows the meds instead of spitting it out.

Sleeptime

Today I decided to keep Lucas at home with me instead of leaving him at the garderie this morning. He has a slight cold and cough but I thought it would be nice to just rest at home on such a cold and rainy day. We made pancakes for breakfast (Lucas likes his pancakes with nutella, of course) and then Lucas ate his peanut butter sandwich and chocolat chaud for lunch.

In between, I managed to do 3 loads of laundry while Lucas watched Playhouse Disney live on stage on YouTube!

As I type now, I am hoping that Lucas will fall asleep for his nap - I accidentally woke him up when I wanted to put a blanket on him and now he is refusing to go back to sleep.

I noticed that for the past couple of days now, Lucas is not napping so much anymore. However, in the babycenter articles, it is recommended that toddlers at Lucas' age get at least 12-14 hours of sleep a day, which he is not getting and that makes him overtired and irritated. Lucas always gets cranky around 630 p.m. on a daily basis and then he gets hyperactive before bedtime. We have moved up his sleeptime at night to 8 p.m sharp, and even then he will play and talk in his cot til around 830 p.m before he really falls asleep. He wakes up at 630 a.m, but in between bouts of sleep, he still wakes up a couple of times at least.

Maybe its because he is on medication for his cold and cough which is why he is waking up a few times a night.

I hope that after tonight (his last day of meds) he will sleep through the night, as he did before the nightmares and medication...

Getting enough sleep is important for a young child for many reasons, from restoring energy to building brain connections (not to mention giving me a much needed break).

My life as a stay home mom

When I first announced that I was going to quit my job and be a stay at home mom, I had mixed reactions from my friends - some were truly happy for me and then there were the skeptics and the ones who were aghast at my decision. Funny enough, the ones who reacted negatively were working moms who only saw their kids during the weekends (with the maid in tow, of course) and holidays.

There were also those who have tried to be SAHM and then found that they couldn't do it. One of my friends told me that staying home with her 2 kids all day made her irritated and bad tempered. In the end she preferred to go back to work.

In Malaysia, when I was working, I hardly saw Lucas. Although our working hours are stipulated as 9am to 5 pm, no one ever leaves work at 5. The work culture is such that working effectively means long long hours, even though you may be playing solitaire on your computer at work, as long as you are seen to be "working late" means you are a valued and productive staff.

Once I had Lucas, I found that being away from him just made me count the hours til I could see him again. Even then, it was not enough for me. I longed to be Lucas' primary caregiver, not trusting my maid fully with him. So we had to come to a decision and since I was "ready" to be a SAHM, we decided to move back to France primarily for Lucas' education but also because Fred wanted to be nearer to Hugo, his firstborn.

Little did I realize what a struggle it would be, almost like a culture shock for me to make that transition from a working mom with a maid to a SAHM who also needed to cook, do the laundry and clean! But so far, the benefits of being a SAHM far outweighs the bad and knowing my son is receiving all the love and attention he needs because I chose to stay home with him instead of leaving him with someone else. I know that he is learning at a maximum rate because I have all the time to devote to his developing intellect.

I am not feeling rushed all the time and I am not tired from working. I can give him the time he deserves instead of cramming in a little time here and there.

I think being a SAHM is the most important job in the world. I did not want another person to raise my child or see his first step or hear his first words!! I want my values instilled in my child. I want him to know it was me who raised him, that I was there every step of the way.

There are so many benefits to staying at home with your child I cannot begin to list them all. The first thing is that it builds a sense of security for your child. I think security brings and breeds trust. I think because Lucas is secure in our bond with each other it allows him to learn through his interaction with both adults and other toddlers alike. The biggest benefit is the bond that grows stronger each day. This bond is what makes Lucas a confident, secure and happy child.

The best part of being a SAHM is being able to set my own schedule and getting to do fun things with Lucas. Whenever we do something new, I think of it as one more memory we both have of his childhood - whether it's going to the zoo, meeting other kids at Gepetto, reading a book in the library, playing in the backyard, going to the farmers' market or sliding down that giant slide at L'Ormeau. Those are memories that will last a lifetime.

There is no morning rush to get everyone out the door (except some days where we wake up late for Lucas' creche as we do not use an alarm clock) and there are no chaotic evenings where we're not sure who's going to cook dinner or what there is to eat. While the world around us is going a million miles an hour, my child's world is a calm, stable haven of peace.

This is now my life. I have traded in the designer clothes and 3-inch heels for messy hair, jeans and flip flops. Instead of a trip to the cinema, we watch a DVD and have popcorn on our living room floor. I had to learn to cut costs, prioritize household needs, shop at different supermarkets to get the best prices and get really creative in order to stay at home with Lucas. We can no longer decide to take a weekend trip on a whim. Eating out is a luxury.

While giving up my career also meant giving up my paycheck, it is not without its rewards. When Lucas is grown up, I know he is not going to remember that he did not always have the newest, most expensive toys and stuff. He is going to remember that I was there, every single day. He will remember that I was the first face he saw every morning, that I was the one who held him tight when he scraped his knees, that I was the one who helped scare away all the monsters under his bed and that I was the one who kissed all his boo boos away. I could not put a price tag on these experiences. The day will come when my son will become more independant. It will not be long before he is off to school, and I am free to pursue other interests.

But for now, suffice to say that I am indeed blessed to be able to share and build a lifetime of memories with Lucas. These are the memories that I will remember, the stories I will tell his children.

I would not miss this for anything.

Lucas @ 32 months

It feels like yesterday that I checked into the hospital to be induced for labor as Lucas decided he wanted to stay in my tummy a little longer... Fast forward to today, Lucas is now 32 months!

I have spent the last 14 months with him, 24/7 and what a wonderful journey it has been for the two of us! Lucas has blossomed into a wonderfully mischievious and happy boy and although I gripe about the laundry (its amazing how a small boy like Lucas can go through as many as 4 changes of clothes in a day...)and the never ending housework ( its true that little boys DO haul dirt...) I would not trade being with Lucas for anything.

A Hundred Years From Now
It Will Not Matter What My Bank Account Was,
The Sort Of House I Lived In,
Or The Kind Of Car I Drove ...
But The World May Be Different
Because I was Important In The Life Of A Child.
- Author Unknown

At 32 months, Lucas' favourite phrases are "where is it?" , "come on, let's go" followed by the french version "on y va", "tired, do-do", "no, THAT one", "open door, light" (when he gets scared of sleeping in the dark). His favourite food is anything with chocolate in it; loves Nesquik and insists on his peanut butter sandwich everyday. Lucas is a real water baby and loves playing in the paddling pool. He loves showertime too and always wants to shower himself. When he disappears and starts hiding, we know he is up to mischief, doing something that is forbidden such as putting coins in his mouth or eating that extra piece of chocolate.

At 32 months, Lucas is still resisting the potty although he will now sit on the potty sans diapers. He absolutely refuses to pee or poo when sitting on the potty or the toilet. In fact when he needs to poo, he asks for his diaper!

At 32 months, Lucas is also very sensitive to sleeping in the dark and now sleeps with the night light AND the door open as he seems to be getting nightmares. I think its because he's been watching Horton hears a Who and so have hidden that DVD from him. Since then, no more nightmares.

Because the days are warm now, Lucas knows approximately when his papa will be home and waits outside in the balcony to catch a glimpse of Fred cycling back. He also asks for his shoes around the time Fred comes home as he knows that Fred will take him for a ride on the bicycle.

Today Lucas & I spent 3 hours in the doctor's waiting room. Lucas was for most of the time well behaved and obedient. In fact I was surprised he managed to last that long (the last 20 minutes I had to put him back onto his stroller and took him outside the waiting area). I find that he understands a lot more than expected and he listens when I tell him not to do something (i.e not to climb onto the chairs and jump). Lucas is also a very sociable boy, and was chatting with all the other patients in the waiting room. He loves talking, especially with adults. At the doctor's, Lucas did not cry when he was being examined except when the doctor put a tongue depressor into his mouth.

Mother's Day

Lucas gave me a piece of artwork he made in creche :)
I got to sleep in, and had pancakes and coffee for breakfast. We then left for Val D'Azun again for the day after Lucas had his nap and I watched New Moon while Lucas was sleeping.

Lucas' sleep issues

At 31 months, Lucas suddenly developed sleeping problems! He now must call out to me over and over again before he has a little cry and then falls asleep - for naps and nightime. Even though we have pushed his sleeping time to 9 p.m now, he is still reluctant.

Lucas usually wakes up at 7.30 a.m the past month since we changed the daylight saving timing; and his normal practise is to climb into our bed and watch Mickey on TV. But his 7.30 timing kept regressing earlier and earlier and last week, he kept waking up at 2.30 a.m asking to climb into our bed.

I have to admit I brought him into the bed a couple of times when he woke at 2.30 - which was a mistake because with Lucas, you give him an inch - he will take a hundred miles! But the neighbors upstairs were having some really loud arguments which woke Lucas as they were screaming at each other above Lucas' room (thin walls :P)

So after a few times he started automatically waking up at 2 am asking to come to bed. When I refuse, he starts crying and screaming - the crying could go on for 40 minutes... yes, I tried to ignore his crying hoping he will fall back asleep. (payback for my neighbours upstairs ;)  )

Last night was the first night he finally relents quietly and goes back to sleep after I talk to him and give him a hug. But he still woke me up at 2a.m, 4a.m and finally at 5 a.m.

Lucas is also extremely manja with me these past 2 weeks. He comes crying to me over any little boo-boo and doesn't want his papa. He won't leave me alone for even a toilet break. And when he climbs into our bed, he insists on being on my side of the bed and I have to sleep next to him or else he will not fall asleep. In our queen sized bed, its been difficult, both my boys take up space and I have been sleeping in the day bed - but I have to wait til Lucas is deeply asleep. A few times I even tried to put Lucas back into his own bed but he woke up. I tried giving Lucas my pillow in his bed - he throws it out.

So now I have to wake up everytime he calls and get him to sleep again - in his own bed. Waking up is not the problem, but it takes me ages to fall back asleep again. I have had to catch naps in the afternoon when Lucas is sleeping but today, he napped for less than an hour :P

Our fussy eater Pt2

After I blogged on how difficult it was to get Lucas to eat his veges, my aunt sent me an email and asked me to try blending the veges and adding them into his pasta sauce. Well, I tried it and Lucas ate it all up!
Today, I decided to try again with epinards hache (minced spinach). I made a creamy prawns & spinach pasta and Lucas ate the whole lot even though the pasta was green!

Lucas and his first swear word

Lucas has said his first swear word. He goes "Oh no! SHIT!!!!"
The first time I heard it I thought I'd heard wrongly. So I asked him to repeat it and he did, very clearly say "shit". Obviously the bad word he's picking up is from me as Fred only swears in french :P

I'm trying to teach Lucas that he should not say "shit" as its a bad word but I caught myself saying "shit" twice today while driving. I'm sure Lucas will get confused as to why a rule applies to him and not to his mama. Lucas is like a sponge nowadays: He soaks up what he sees and hears and is eager to share and use what he's learned, good and bad.

Yesterday when I wanted to change his dirty diaper, he was struggling and said in an annoyed tone - "no, mama. What u doing?"


His other favourite phrases are "gosh" (he says this with big eyes, and hands on each cheek a la Home Alone); "oh no!" ; "what you doing?", "what happened?", "see you"  and of course "shit".