Its December already and Chrismas is around the corner. Time really flies. Its hard to believe that I have been unemployed for nearly 8 months now! Do I miss working? I was one of the lucky ones who enjoyed their work and got immense satisfaction out of what I was doing, so getting up in the mornings to go to work wasn't that hard. I also had really good friends at work and that made me look forward to each working day. The money wasn't too bad either :) I loved being financially independant and being able to buy whatever my heart desired without having to "consult" with my husband or feeling any guilt. I loved that I could get the best of everything for Lucas.
But we had to come to a decision about France - Fred was already over 40 and he wanted to come back before it was too late. While I loved going to work I was also lamenting about the fact that I never got to see Lucas (I used to wake up at 5 am to spend a couple of hours with Lucas before going to work as by the time I got home from work, he would either be nodding off or fast asleep). So when we came back to France for a holiday in 2008, Fred decided to bite the bullet and stay back in France to look for a job while Lucas and I flew back to KL. Fred could still do his web development long distance and we gave ourselves a deadline as to when Lucas & I will join him in France.
It was during the height of the crisis when Fred got a job offer from Toujas & Coll. A crappy job, but still, a job nonetheless and one that would put him back into the French system for social security and medical benefits. It wasn't all smooth sailing, since Fred has been away for the past 11 years in Malaysia. But finally everything has fallen in place - Lucas and I have been here since May and the only thing lacking is my permanent visa which will be awarded to me after I pass my French exam. I received my driver's license 2 weeks ago and Lucas & I no longer need to bring an attestation letter to confirm that we are covered for Medical and Pharmaceuticals.
In the past 7 months there were so many times I've been tempted to throw in the towel and move back to KL. I would weigh the pros (career, family, friends, yummy food, MAID...) and cons (quality of life, education, long working hours, maid who will make you vomit blood, massive traffic jams, have to pay for EVERYTHING that we get for free in France- medical, visa for Fred)
In the end it always comes back to one reason - Lucas.
So what if I have to forego that beautiful pair of Camper boots that I've been dreaming of, I get to dream at home with Lucas instead of being stuck at work wishing I was home with my baby.
So what if our current apartment is 3 times smaller than our apartment in KL? At least Lucas is spending time in this apartment with mama instead of the maid.
So what if we can't afford to have a maid here? Although it would be nice to have someone do all the cleaning, laundry and cooking for me (hehehehehheeh...) I would miss watching Lucas take the swiffer out of the cupboard and try to help me clean the floors.
My point is this - there are so many "what ifs" and "so whats"out there, but one thing I learnt is that everyone is adaptable, even me! It depends on your priority in life, and ours is Lucas. And we know that for Lucas, life in France will be a better one. So we learn to do without certain luxuries in life, and whaddaya know? I don't really miss it! I wake up every morning feeling so blessed and thanking God for giving us everything we need :) (and friends who send me stuff I cannot get here...)
We knew what we would have to give up when we left KL, and we migrated to France with open eyes but it was still a big shock for us and especially for me, the adjusting period has been trying. But after 7 months, I am happy and contented. Don't get me wrong, I still have my little complaints like how I still deteste driving on the wrong side but even then I am HAPPILY complaining :)
Lucas is so so happy here. I love watching him get all excited about going to creche, greeting all his caregivers, profering his cheek for a kiss, asking insistently to play outside (yes, even in the cold...). I get to be with him everyday and watch every milestone, I get to hear him sing with Barney and Tigger, count from 1 to 5, point out shapes and colors and dance to The Wiggles.
That is one life experience that cannot be replaced with all the money and all the Prada handbags in the world!
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hugs!! aye aye to No Regrets!! hugs to Lucas! He is a very lucky boy!
ReplyDeleteI was touched, after reading your latest entry. Off late, I have been battling with myself over the prospects of moving away from France. Similar pros and cons runs through my head but in the end, the fact remains, this place provides of the best environment to raise our children... My struggles has always been the language, which, after 4 years now, is still shamefully handicapping me to a great extend. I feel like I have lost my independence and this is pulling me down a lot. I made the mistake of not taking up French classes as soon as I arrive in France, and before the children came. As English is spoken at home, between me and hubby, I rely solely on conversations with my in-laws as well as some French TV for progress. It's darn slow.. although I do feel a significant imiprovement compared to my first days here, when I felt completely and utterly alienated. Unfortunately, in my case (strangely...) passing that French exam wasn't a pre-requisite to get my permanent visa (I just went into a room where they spoke to me in French and I replied with whatever French I knew!)... so, I was not in a hurry to learn French (stupid of me!). For a smart person like you, with the formal classes you are taking and local friends to practice with, you will be talking and complaining in complex French, in no time! Then, if you so wish, getting a job, whether part-time or not, so that you can still keep those precious times with your family, will be a breeze!
ReplyDeleteI'm wandering, how are you coping with the household chores? Does it ever frustrate you? I have 3 messy boys (incl. my husband!) and a huge house (we live in the countryside which abled us to afford a bigger space at an even lower price than our former apartment), I really really wish we could afford a full-time helper...
Dida - I think the French Govt via Sarko made the rule for etrageres like us to attend compulsory classes and to pass the DILF before we are offered our long stay visa. But classes aside, its hard anyway if your household speaks English in the first place, like mine does. Continue to seek out non english speaking people like your in laws and watch the French channels -even watching Pocoyo on M6 with Lucas helps me :)
ReplyDeleteFYI I have classmates who have lived in France for 6 - 7 yrs and are still struggling with "un" and "une"! Surprisingly these people have managed to get jobs...
I know its frustrating when we can express ourselves so clearly in English yet we are totally hadicapped in French. I think a lot of people who have not been in our shoes do not realize how difficult it is to be in a foreign place where one cannot even order pizza on the phone or in my case I was reluctant to call my son's creche today to tell them that he is not well.
As for my household chores - sigh... I would be a saint if I said I was not frustrated every single day having to pick up after both my husband and my son! I make easy fast simple dishes for food, and leave the washing up to my husband most of the time. Sometimes I admit to making fish fingers and chicken nuggets for lunch! Or just grilled cheese sandwiches. My husband says he doesn't know how I am going to cope once we get our house since I really really do not like housework. Sometimes I get motivated and vacuum, swiffer and mop everywhere and even pick up stray hair with masking tape (my OCD kicks in...) Other times I am not bothered to even swiffer. So you are really not alone - When I win the Euromillion, the first thing I will do is hire a FT housekeeper!
So happy for you... :)Still missing you tho.. :P
ReplyDeleteI can so related to that when I hit the shores of Germany and France a long time ago. I suppose it is the life style and what we want for our kids. What we had in Malaysia is no long there for our kids - just think back to your child-hood at Teluk Anson :) Atleast the weather is interesting.... :)
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas
Can relate on the culture shock parts but thankfully I am applying for migration to Australia so language is not a problem. How have you been since we last saw each other back in KDU I think.... I envy you for having the "luxury" of not having to work and being with baby all the time but at times being with baby is also what drives me up the proverbial wall... hahahah. ahhhh.... humans... we never seem to be satisfied. you can contact me on email if you wish at fujigoh@gmail.com (if you remember who I am)
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